30 Weeks

Aside from my right hand being constantly tingly and numb (pregnancy carpal tunnel), and sleepless nights, I'm hanging in there. It's hard to believe our baby boy will be here in just 10 weeks (maybe sooner!) I'm excited. I'm nervous. I'm scared, but most of all, I am joyful! Joyful to be bringing into this world a creation from God alone.

If you know me well, I am a fan of the worship artists Shane & Shane. They wrote this song for their children (who are girls, so I changed it as though it was for our baby boy) and it resonated so much with my heart as I listened to it. I know our son is not born yet, but I wanted to share the lyrics with you..

"hey, hey, sweet son....I'm so proud to be your mother.

each day is like a gift from God.

hey, hey, sweet son....there's no music like your laughter, and your smile is like the rising sun.

you know I loved you from the start, so come in close, take my hand, while mommy shares her heart.

i wish that i could be your everything, be the one to give you all the things you need, sometimes I'm gonna let you down....there's someone if you just believe, He'll be your hero like He's always been for me. darling, Jesus is the one you need.

no matter what you walk through, He will always love you...just the way you are. for there's nothing in this world, that I want for my baby boy than to be happy ever after.

the story of your life is still untold.  i pray the king of all the universe would make your heart his home. i wish that i could be your everything. be the one to give you all the things you need, sometimes i'm gonna let you down. there's someone if you just believe, He'll be your hero, likes He's always been for me, darling Jesus is the one...who will never leave, he's been there all along. oh, when your ready....you can find true love.

i wish that i could be your everything, be the one to give you all the things you need, sometimes I'm gonna let you down. there's someone if you just believe, he'll be your hero like he's always been for me. darling, Jesus is the one you need..."

There is something so beautiful about these lyrics. I want so much for this little boy coming into the world, and I want him to know that there is so much hope in Jesus Christ. I can't fulfill everything as a mother, and neither can his daddy, but I do know that Jesus can, and I pray that our little one knows and understands that as he grows and becomes the man that God created him to be...

28 Weeks & 29 Weeks

I think I've sat in front of the computer screen at least once a day for the past week "attempting" to write my 28 and 29 week update. I've had plenty of things on my mind to talk about. It seemed that every time I was able to sit down, I've been too tired to do anything....which is how I am feeling at this very moment. BUT, I want to continue with this, for many reasons, so here goes..

Can you believe I am in my third trimester already? I can't. Sometimes I wonder where the time has gone, and other times I feel like it's going by way to fast. Either way, the pregnancy symptoms always seem to remind me of how far along I am. For instance, my hands have been feeling like they are "asleep" quite a bit the past two weeks. After doing some research, it seems to be part of pregnancy "carpal tunnel." It would make sense that I experience it. :)

I've been feeling a lot of fear lately. Fear of the unknown. It's mostly due to the fact that this is my first pregnancy and I have NO IDEA what to expect when it comes to labor and delivery. I am nervous. In fact, I am so nervous that sometimes it overwhelms me! God always knows when I am struggling with a particular "fear" in life because certain scripture verses or quotes (usually relating to whatever I am thinking about) will appear to remind me of who God is and/or to bring me comfort. I read this during this past week: "Our fear or our purpose is going to do the driving today; we get to decide who we give the wheel to." God doesn't call us to fear. I have allowed my fears to do the driving, and therefore bring anxiety.  God's purpose for this season in my life is to bear a child, His child. He is the one who will bring me through it, and continue to be my strength throughout this pregnancy. What a beautiful reminder. Just beautiful.

27 Weeks

Not many of you know, but I was born three months early at 26 weeks. My due date was scheduled for March 29th, 1985, and my mom's water broke on December 29th, 1984. She had no choice but to have me. I weighed nearly 2 pounds when I was born...talk about a miracle, huh? I've talked about it with other people before, but I don't think it really "sunk in" until this past week when my sister's cervix began opening up and she started dilating at 26 weeks. It's been a very scary situation to watch, and even more scarier for her family to be experiencing it. God willing she goes home on Monday. Please keep praying for their little man, and that he stays in there at least a few weeks longer. Also, for the next few months as she will have to be on bed-rest until baby boy comes.  So after this scare with my sister, I've realized the dangers that could have came with my premature birth. I am so thankful for my health and the reminder of his faithfulness and sovereignty over my life.  Looking back at this has confirmed to me, through the Spirit, God's purpose for me on this earth. God be praised...

I know I'm only a week away from my third trimester, but I have definitely felt the difference this past week! It's been harder to breathe, and my hands and feet seem to be swelling more. My back hurts and I barely slept last night. Baby McMurry has also gotten the hiccups, which is quite entertaining! He's been moving around more which makes it fun to watch him nudge my sides every once in awhile. It seems that when I am working, he sleeps, and when I am home laying down, he is awake. Ironic. :) I know I'm only 27 weeks, but I feel pretty big for 27 weeks! I'm glad baby is growing, but I am hoping it isn't a 10lb baby (if you know what I mean!) :) 

I've been meditating on this verse recently, and I find that it fits with everything that has happened this week...

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

I know this verse was written so that the believers didn't have to abide by the thousands of rules that the Pharisee's made up. They could take the teachings of Jesus and find rest for their souls because it wasn't a "list" of things that burdened them. God knows when we are tired, and weary. God knows when our souls need rest. God knows. He knows when we are fearful, scared, happy, and sad. And this is His promise to us, a command really. So with that, I come to Jesus and rest.

This was in Amish country Ohio down a gravel "road." Dylan and I loved it!

26 Weeks

Dropsy's....is that what it is called? :) Well whatever they call it, I have it (just ask my girls at work!) My balance and ability to pick up things without dropping them has seemed to be lacking this past week. I can't imagine what it will be like if it gets worse! I haven't been too forgetful with things, but I can definitely tell that I have to constantly repeat things in my head to remember them. What is this baby doing to me?! :) Nonetheless, it has been a good week. Other than waking up this morning with my back in lots of pain, I've been blessed by my friend Magen Cass with a Snoogle. Every pregnant woman should own one of these things...just look it up, explaining it won't do it justice. McBaby has been moving around a lot, and seems to be kicking quite often (those are my favorite!) We get another ultra-sound in just a few weeks to make sure his progress is coming along. I am going to try and video tape it if they let me, and then I'll post it on here!

I'm thankful this week, grateful in ways I can't even begin to explain. Something indescribable happens when you are carrying your own child. Questions run through my mind all the time, such as....who is he going to look like the most? What will his passion in life be? Will he love basketball and golf like his daddy? Will he be a momma's boy? I'm reminded of the countless ways in which God has blessed our family this week. These thoughts have been spurred on by something no one should ever have to go through or experience. My heart is breaking for the children and people of Somalia and East Africa. I could be that person living in Somalia, 26 weeks pregnant, and with nothing to eat or drink. Instead, I'm sitting in my air-conditioned home with plenty of food in the fridge and water flowing rapidly all around me. Sometimes I don't understand why I am here, and they are there. To be honest, there are plenty of times where all I want to do is complain about the little "mundane" things in life, when there are so many more important things happening in this world that seemed to be ignored the most. [Although, it's in my humanity that I find this great longing and desire, and belief, in a Savior. It's in the "mundane" that I reach for that which is eternal and desire more than this life here on earth.] We live in such an egocentric world that to think about anybody but ourselves seems almost silly.  So, my prayers go out to East Africa this week, especially for the children and mothers who are starving and/or barely surviving.

Whenever I have a hard time trying to understand the tragic situations in this world, I am always reminded of this part of scripture in Revelation: 

"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." Revelation 21:1-5

I pray that the people in Africa cling to this promise from the Lord, and place their hope in it. 

Here is a website if you are wanting to know more information about what is happening in East Africa, or if you are willing to donate or help in any way: 
http://www.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/africa/07/20/iyw.howtohelp.somalia.famine/index.html

25 Weeks

Can you believe I am 25 weeks already? I can't. It seems like yesterday I found out I was pregnant! This little boy is growing so fast....I can't wait to meet him. I'm beginning to feel more and more pregnant as the weeks continue. My doctor was telling me that at about 28 weeks is when it starts to become the most uncomfortable, and that if guys had to carry babies, it would be around this time that they would want to cut open their bellies and get them out of there. :) I laughed, and thought about how God really did intend for just women to carry babies. It's such a beautiful concept. We are blessed.

We just got back from celebrating Dylan and I's one year anniversary together, and to spend some quality time before our new addition makes his appearance. We had such a wonderful time in Tybee Island and Savannah, Georgia despite the heat and car troubles, it was such a refreshing and much needed week! We got to take some cool pictures that I'll post at the bottom. My husband is a great photographer with our digital camera. :)

At 25 weeks, our wee little man is about the size of "an average rutabaga." Don't worry, I had to look it up too. He is growing fast, and could even have hair! I've noticed my hair has been growing more and more (seeing as though I JUST got it cut a week ago!), so it will be interesting to see what he looks like when he comes out. I think he is going to look like his daddy, but only time will tell. :) He is moving around a lot, and kicking too (that's usually when I feel it most!) He also likes to sit low near my back, and sciatic nerve. It doesn't always feel good, so I've been trying new positions and ways to maneuver him around! 

Until next week, I've been meditating on this Psalm, and particularly this verse as my prayer:

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14

24 Weeks

It has been a whirl-wind of emotions this past week (okay, maybe it's been like that for awhile!) Either way, I am beginning to feel (and look) more and more pregnant as the weeks go on.  I do believe pregnant women should embrace their pregnancy, but sometimes I just feel heavier, everywhere. I've been daydreaming about when I get to start running again, and working out....BUT, for now, I'll try to embrace these moments of bearing our little man.

As for the weekly pregnancy update, I've been feeling pretty good. Aside from the heartburn, feeling worn out more than usual, and some nausea, I've discovered that things could be worse. :)  

I wanted to share a touching and yet bittersweet story about our due date. Many of you may know that Dylan's brother, Patrick Kelly McMurry, passed away on November 20th, 2010.  It was way to soon for him to leave us and it's been difficult for his family, and us, to walk through in many ways. He was an incredible man, and greatly missed. Well, we weren't "trying" to have a kid at this point in our marriage, but I do believe that God ordained it to happen for such a time as this. Our due date is November 19th, a day before Patrick's passing. We are having a little boy, which makes it even more special. We will be mourning the death of a loved one, but God is blessing our family with another "Patrick Kelly McMurry," and we are very excited!

That is my shadow --- although it seems a bit tooo big....I think it's just the way the shadow is. :)

23 Weeks

This picture is sweet in that it was a "Mother, Son" dance at our friends wedding! :)

If I could describe this past week in one word, it would be "tiring." I've haven't felt this tired in a LONG time...and I'm pretty sure the heat has something to do with it (although I've been waiting for this heat for quite some time now.) :)

McBaby has been on the move! He is a squirmy wormy down there, and I love it (well, except in the middle of the night!) It's such an amazing experience to be able to feel him moving.

Dylan and I looked at another apartment this past week. It was perfect for what we wanted, and the price wasn't that much different (it even included a dishwasher, and a hook up for a washer and dryer!) We were really excited about it because it would allow the baby to have more room as he gets older to walk and play around. It would also allow us to have more than one person over. :) After what we thought would be perfect for our little family, God didn't. It took some time for the owner to get back to us, and we realized that things weren't going to work out. It was during this time that I started to be okay if it wasn't what God wanted for us during this next season of our lives. I prayed on the way to work, at work, at home, etc. that if we weren't supposed to have it, than God would close that door. It wasn't some magical prayer, just "God, if you don't want us to have this apartment, I pray you would close the door. I trust You," and He did just that. I am content with the outcome trusting He knows what is BEST for our family. It's funny how we constantly choose what we think is best, without actually seeking God's guidance and wisdom.  As much as we were disappointed in not getting the apartment, we were content with what happened because we know and can trust in God's provision over our lives.

So for now, we are blessed and happy to be able to live where we are. We don't have to have a bigger apartment nor do we absolutely need a dishwasher. We've lived without them for a year, and I know that we can do it for years to come. Now, we can sit back and enjoy the simplistic lifestyle we have in our apartment, in this season of our lives.

These are my AWESOME friends from Starbucks, whom I love dearly, and thank God for their support and encouragement!

22 Weeks

[I've felt the baby move (a lot!) What an incredible feeling -- it seems kind of surreal in a way.  I've also seen the baby move just by staring at my belly! Dylan also felt the baby as well, which brought much joy to him. We went to Babies "R" Us this past week, and suddenly became overwhelmed by all the baby stuff (much like we did when registering for our wedding at Target).  We came to the realization that we are going to need help again.  So, if you have suggestions on what to get and what not to get, We'd appreciate that..]

I've come to the realization (more this week than others) that no one really (men, especially) knows or understands what a pregnant woman is going through.  You may be thinking, "Well, duh Jessie." But I think that it is harder for them to deal with and/or understand us than most people think.  It's one thing when we aren't expecting a baby, but its a whole other world when we are.  I say all that because this past week has been one of those challenging "hormonal weeks." Sometimes I wanted to cry (for no reason), other times I didn't want to talk to anyone (for no reason), and most of the time I was just irritated by everything (for no reason). How's that for a week? :) The crazy part about it all is that MOST of the time I didn't even know I was acting a certain way! Even crazier, I didn't know how to change because I didn't even know what I was doing (It's exhausting!) I read this in my favorite blog the other day and it resonated so much with my heart, so I wanted to share it:

  

"...there is something that seems to take place in my walk with God during this time of pregnancy that unrivals other times in my life. I've found my feelings are completely useless to live by and thus I must rely upon what I know to be TRUE about God, and about myself - not how I FEEL about God or myself. How spiritual I FEEL suddenly means nothing - it can't. 'Cause I don't feel it. Spirituality, more than ever, becomes more about God and less about me. I want it to just remain this way for good.

I find myself talking out loud to Him more than usual - not spiritual sounding prayers, thanksgiving, or the like. It's more like pleas for help, acknowledging weakness, "Oh God, I can't do this. Help me." I know He's there. He helps me every single day.

But I don't always FEEL near to God.
Instead I feel like an emotional pregnant woman working her tail off day and night far from glorious yearnings. Yet I cling to the truth that "The nearness of God is my good." And I find, truly, it is my only good....

There is truly something wonderful about coming to a point in life where it's okay if all I can utter is, "Thank You, Father...for this." And breathing deep and letting it out is a form of worship and trust. Where tears are shed because of silly hormones and yet, you know it's His washing and your cleansing that is taking place. Where the challenges in life aren't tackled with Greek word searches or new spiritual to do lists, or memorizing a new verse, but rather with silent wanting and waiting to just know His nearness."

Pretty truthful, huh? I read that, and I just felt God's peace surround me. Even after all the hormonal spells this week, I know that His nearness is to me my good. Thank you God.

22 Weeks -- in a field in Hartville :)

21 Weeks

Note to self: do not ever watch a LIVE birthing video with your first child, before you give birth.  Let's just say that I watched two videos (one with an epidural, and one without) and I freaked out just a bit! I've never seen a live birth, and I know that I will most likely see one in my birthing classes, BUT I probably could have waited it out. :) Truth be told :: I am scared! Who wouldn't be scared? It's not an EASY thing to do, right? My mind starts playing mind games with me, and I have to start taking every thought captive to the Lord (2 Corinthians 10:5 - We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take every captive, every thought, to make it obedient to Christ!) Am I going to have an epidural, or a natural birth? I'd like to talk about that in this blog entry, and why I feel so strongly about not having one....

I've never been completely against epidurals. I don't think that I've always wanted to go natural either.  I do know that in the beginning of creation, God created male and female, in His image He created them (Genesis 2). But because of the fall (Adam and Eve sinned and ate from the tree of good and evil AFTER God specifically commanded them not to (for their own good!) God gave specific curses for the serpent, Adam, and Eve. Eve's was this: 

"To the woman he said, “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” Genesis 3:16 

Now, I now I've never had a child before, and I know that regardless of the epidural, you DO feel pain throughout pregnancy, and in the beginning of the labor process. Does this justify "the severe painful labor we are supposed to feel?" I don't have an answer to that. What I do know is that this is what women should feel as a result of the eating from the tree of life, and disobeying God's commands. As a Christian, the weight of sin is an awful feeling. I also know the feeling of being completely redeemed and set free because of the blood of Jesus Christ, and his sacrifice on the cross for all mankind. We were supposed to die on that cross because of our sins, but instead Christ took our place so that we didn't have to suffer as he did. This doesn't mean that we won't suffer at all as Christians (we are at a constant state of war with sin in our lives -- just read Paul's struggle with sin in Romans 7) but we will always be in this constant struggle with sin until Christ comes in the end. What I am trying to say is that I believe because of the fall, and our disobedient hearts toward God, I should be feeling the pains of childbirth naturally.

I know that I can bring in the idea that God has created smart people, and in turn, they have created medicine, including epidurals, so that we don't have to go through that agonizing pain. But I am truly experiencing what God has intended for me to experience from the beginning? Some food for thought... 

21 Weeks! :) Halfway there!! I feel it, that's for sure! :)

My best friend Lindsey and I out for her 26th birthday at The Vegiterranean in Akron! :) Love her!

20 Weeks

Can you believe I am HALF WAY there already? I can't! In fact, there are days I still can't believe I am going to have a baby! This whole 9 months of preparation is such a blessing from God! Not only am I going to have a baby in November, BUT I am going to be having a baby BOY! I'd like to thank my dad for this one. After having four girls, he is now going to have all the boys he dreamed of (my sister is having a boy too, and she already has Pax + her stepson!) Needless to say, he told me he is VERY VERY excited. I'm so glad we can have boys for him. :)

The one thing I can believe is that I am pregnant! I think I have experienced every symptom that comes with pregnancy (except giving birth, obviously) so far. From the nausea, throwing up, being tired, back aches, leg aches, cravings, mood swings (just ask dylan!) etc, I know what it feels like to be pregnant. I was telling Dylan the other day that when I read my weekly updates on the baby, it always seems to match exactly what I am feeling and/or going through. It definitely answers my constant question of, "Is this normal!?" :) The good part about this week is that I got my sweet tooth back!! Hopefully this will help the weight that I have lost the past few weeks, my doctor's weren't happy about that.

Let's talk about our little boy (it feels so good to finally put a gender to him!)...we do not have any names for him yet! There are some we are tossing around but until we are 110%, we aren't going to say anything. I am just praising God for a healthy baby! I catch myself at times talking to him, and just wanting to make sure he is safe and sound down there. :) I've also felt him move quite a bit, I love that feeling. Please keep baby boy Mcmurry in your prayers, and thanks for being a part of this journey with us...we are very excited!

For those who haven't gotten to see some of the ultrasound pictures, I will post a few here: :)