31 Weeks

 

"Today I am desperate enough to pray. When I think about prayer, about what it is and what it brings to my life and what it tells me about the way life is, I realize, for the thousandth time, that the alternative is about as smart as building your house on marshmallow fluff or taking flintstone vitamins to cure cancer..." -Shauna Niequist (Book - Cold Tangerines)

Shauna Niequist is one of those people I could sit down and probably have a 24 hour conversation with...and never get bored. She's real. authentic. vulnerable. and transparent in more ways than one. She tells it like it is, and isn't afraid too. I read this from one of her chapters in her book Cold Tangerines, and it resonated with my week this past week...

I find myself praying for our little man more than ever. I wish I could say that it happens all the time, but I would be lieing to you if I did. Usually I begin to pray at the last moments of the day, or when all other means have failed (including my ability to think I can control every situation in life).  It seems that I go straight to God when I think I can't do anything else about the situation and/or circumstance. Funny, huh? It should never start with me, nor should it end with me. My desperate prayer is that before even thinking about what I would do in a situation, my eyes would gaze towards heaven, and my heart would cry out to God who knows and understands my needs and wants more than anyone (including myself) ever would or could.

I read this quote this past week, and it reminded me of the power of prayer. I consistently need to be reminded of how powerful prayer is, and that it should be in my thought process all the time...

"The prayer of the feeblest saint on earth who lives in the spirit and keeps right with God is a terror to Satan. The very powers of darkness are paralyzed by prayer...no wonder Satan tries to keep our minds fussy in active work till we cannot think in prayer."

Oswald Chambers

So, baby boy, I pray that you would see you are created by the King of the universe. You are wonderfully made, and loved by Him more than mommy and daddy could ever love you. I pray that God would reveal Himself to you in powerful ways as you live for Him. I pray that your contentment would be found in His hands, and not in the things of this world. Times will get tough, and life will be hard, but remember to always call out to God, He alone can save you. Live for Him, and love others as He did.

In His Joy, Mommy

30 Weeks

Aside from my right hand being constantly tingly and numb (pregnancy carpal tunnel), and sleepless nights, I'm hanging in there. It's hard to believe our baby boy will be here in just 10 weeks (maybe sooner!) I'm excited. I'm nervous. I'm scared, but most of all, I am joyful! Joyful to be bringing into this world a creation from God alone.

If you know me well, I am a fan of the worship artists Shane & Shane. They wrote this song for their children (who are girls, so I changed it as though it was for our baby boy) and it resonated so much with my heart as I listened to it. I know our son is not born yet, but I wanted to share the lyrics with you..

"hey, hey, sweet son....I'm so proud to be your mother.

each day is like a gift from God.

hey, hey, sweet son....there's no music like your laughter, and your smile is like the rising sun.

you know I loved you from the start, so come in close, take my hand, while mommy shares her heart.

i wish that i could be your everything, be the one to give you all the things you need, sometimes I'm gonna let you down....there's someone if you just believe, He'll be your hero like He's always been for me. darling, Jesus is the one you need.

no matter what you walk through, He will always love you...just the way you are. for there's nothing in this world, that I want for my baby boy than to be happy ever after.

the story of your life is still untold.  i pray the king of all the universe would make your heart his home. i wish that i could be your everything. be the one to give you all the things you need, sometimes i'm gonna let you down. there's someone if you just believe, He'll be your hero, likes He's always been for me, darling Jesus is the one...who will never leave, he's been there all along. oh, when your ready....you can find true love.

i wish that i could be your everything, be the one to give you all the things you need, sometimes I'm gonna let you down. there's someone if you just believe, he'll be your hero like he's always been for me. darling, Jesus is the one you need..."

There is something so beautiful about these lyrics. I want so much for this little boy coming into the world, and I want him to know that there is so much hope in Jesus Christ. I can't fulfill everything as a mother, and neither can his daddy, but I do know that Jesus can, and I pray that our little one knows and understands that as he grows and becomes the man that God created him to be...

28 Weeks & 29 Weeks

I think I've sat in front of the computer screen at least once a day for the past week "attempting" to write my 28 and 29 week update. I've had plenty of things on my mind to talk about. It seemed that every time I was able to sit down, I've been too tired to do anything....which is how I am feeling at this very moment. BUT, I want to continue with this, for many reasons, so here goes..

Can you believe I am in my third trimester already? I can't. Sometimes I wonder where the time has gone, and other times I feel like it's going by way to fast. Either way, the pregnancy symptoms always seem to remind me of how far along I am. For instance, my hands have been feeling like they are "asleep" quite a bit the past two weeks. After doing some research, it seems to be part of pregnancy "carpal tunnel." It would make sense that I experience it. :)

I've been feeling a lot of fear lately. Fear of the unknown. It's mostly due to the fact that this is my first pregnancy and I have NO IDEA what to expect when it comes to labor and delivery. I am nervous. In fact, I am so nervous that sometimes it overwhelms me! God always knows when I am struggling with a particular "fear" in life because certain scripture verses or quotes (usually relating to whatever I am thinking about) will appear to remind me of who God is and/or to bring me comfort. I read this during this past week: "Our fear or our purpose is going to do the driving today; we get to decide who we give the wheel to." God doesn't call us to fear. I have allowed my fears to do the driving, and therefore bring anxiety.  God's purpose for this season in my life is to bear a child, His child. He is the one who will bring me through it, and continue to be my strength throughout this pregnancy. What a beautiful reminder. Just beautiful.